A simple question, yet, I don’t know how to answer properly. A question so common, yet, I am struggling trying to find the correct answer. An everyday question that even I, ask myself, who am I?
I couldn’t possibly be the only one, right? I mean, I can answer it. Everyone can. But to answer it with all honesty? To answer it wholeheartedly? That’s something impossible for me to do.
It’s one of those questions that I don’t want to be asked because I would get so irritated of myself for not being able to answer it sincerely. I’m not saying that I have been lying to everyone this whole time about my identity, the identity I have given or shared to everyone is still true, but I just couldn’t stop feeling like I was adding spoonfuls of sugar to my words. Like I wasn’t actually describing myself? Like I only lied? It’s like having a plastic surgery just so people wouldn’t notice the, let us say, “imperfections,” that were actually there.
Not that I don’t know my self. I know who I am. I’m just scared that I might add stuff that I am actually not. I don’t wanna describe myself as someone who I’m not. I don’t know why it is so hard for me to do this.
I would rather have like a best friend or someone who knows me well to answer it for me. That way, I can assure the recipient that the answer is not sugarcoated by me because I know how my friends describe me. But that would be weird, for example, in going to interviews, I would have to bring someone with me every time just for the describe-yourself-as-an-employee or -leader part.
Yeah, it’s a hard life.