I wasn’t that popular kid in school who people noticed. I wasn’t that lonesome kid either who people didn’t even know that existed. I was just, there.
I described myself as one of the bubbliest person ever existed in this world of ours. I would laugh at almost everything. Insults, teases, discriminations? I would just ignore and laugh my heart out over it.
Well, that was me back then.
But as years passed, I started to feel different.
I tend to push people away from me. I preferred to be alone. I would do group works by myself and just share the credit afterwards. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, even with my own family. I started to feel weird inside.
Then I knew I was depressed. As time flew, it slowly became a part of me.
From the change of appetite to social anxiety to my suicidal thoughts, I wanted everything to stop. I didn’t want to live anymore. I tried to end my existence, but I wasn’t willing enough to persist.
Everyday is a constant struggle.
Everyday is another day for me to pity myself.
Everyday, I try to put myself to rest forever.
Even up to this point, nothing has changed. It only got worse.